Over
by RedGrayBall
Summary: Beckett appears unexpectedly at the loft one evening, after spending the day with Josh. She has some news.


_**Author's note: I've been absent for some time, and it'll have to continue for a while. My third book was published earlier this month, and I'm locked in revision hell for the fourth, until at least the end of August.**_

 _ **I thought I'd take a brief break today to write a very short Castle piece. This is set during the time that Josh was on the scene, and it's a one-shot.**_

 _ **Until next we meet, be well, and thank you for reading.**_

* * *

She was already smiling when he opened the door, and then he was smiling too.

"Beckett," he said, ushering her in. "To what do we owe this unexpected pleasure?"

She saw that both Martha and Alexis were over in the kitchen area of the loft, unloading the dishwasher and putting away plates, cups, and cutlery.

"Katherine, darling," Martha called over. "What a pleasant surprise."

"Hi, Detective Beckett," Alexis said, with a small wave, and Beckett returned the gesture.

Castle took her coat and hung it in the small cloakroom just off the entranceway, then he looked at her expectantly. She realised she hadn't answered him yet.

"I, uh… I have some news," she said.

A flicker of concern passed across his face, then vanished just as quickly. "Good or bad?" he asked, gesturing for her to proceed across to join the other two women.

"Good, I think," she replied, feeling a flutter of nervousness in her stomach. She had tried to rehearse what she was going to say, so many times, but she knew that coming here to tell him like this was risky – and even more so with his family around.

Beckett reached the kitchen island and smiled at the two redheads, leaning her palms against the cool surface. Castle appeared at her side a moment later.

"Can I get you anything? Something to drink? I was just about to make coffee," he said, his tone light, and her stomach twisted.

"Not right now, thanks," she said, and he seemed to notice her unease.

"OK," he said, exchanging a quick glance with his mother. Martha's eyebrow quirked, showing that she was also curious, but she didn't say anything.

"So what's on your mind?" Castle asked, and Beckett took a deep breath.

"Well, uh," she began, looking at each of them in turn before her gaze settled on Castle. "I… wanted to let you know that, earlier today…"

Castle's mind raced, trying to anticipate what she might say. She was clearly nervous, but she seemed happy and well, so he could rule out the worst possibilities. It was a Saturday and they weren't on call, so it was unlikely to be about work, either.

That left family, friends, or–

 _Personal news_ , he thought.

He recalled her mentioning something about spending the day with Josh, when he'd asked her yesterday what her weekend plans were.

The thought barely had time to flit across his mind before she was speaking again.

"… Josh asked me to marry him."

* * *

For a moment that might as well have been an hour, time stood still.

There was utter silence, and while he knew that barely more than a second had passed, Castle felt that he had been standing there for a brief eternity.

Then everything began to move in slow motion. He saw his mother's widening eyes, and then saw her look at him with such pity and protectiveness.

Alexis' eyebrows shot up, and her gaze immediately sought him out too. She paled ever so slightly, and it was the sight of his daughter's distress that ultimately brought him back to reality.

"That's… wow," he said, looking at Beckett once again. "That's… wonderful. Congratulations."

He smiled at her, forcing himself to, even as he felt his heart drop through his chest. He hoped that it was convincing. His pulse thundered in his ears.

"I'm really happy for you," he said. He felt like he wasn't breathing properly, and he suddenly felt slightly nauseous.

Beckett was looking at him carefully, with her large, dark eyes.

"Well, what… splendid news," Martha said, giving the younger woman a smile that was slightly too wide. "He's a very lucky man."

"Congratulations, Detective," Alexis said, her own attempt at a smile actually making her look more stunned than anything else. Again her gaze locked with her father's, and she read the thinly-veiled shock there.

 _We'll get through this_ , _dad,_ she thought, willing him to hear the words. _I promise. We'll get through this together, then we'll figure things out._

"We should have a toast," Martha said, with one last desperate look at her son, then she immediately turned and crossed to the large refrigerator.

Castle's pulse had gone from too fast to not fast enough. The world seemed to close in around him, just a little, and he had to struggle to focus on the scene in front of him.

 _It's over_ , he thought, and the realisation was like ice in his veins.

All of it. The future he'd hoped for, and regularly dreamed of. The one he'd even written about, secretly, then immediately deleted the document only to recreate it again a few weeks later, and repeat the cycle.

It was all over now, before it had ever really begun. He took another breath, and he felt it rasp in his chest.

Then new images swam into his mind, to replace the well-worn ones he'd created and revisited and cherished. The new images were so similar, but so piercingly different.

Her curled up on the couch on a lazy Sunday, doing the crossword in the newspaper – but with Josh nearby, instead of him.

Her walking down the street, carefree, eyes sparkling, her hand looped through Josh's elbow, not his.

Her in a white dress, walking down the aisle with her father – but with Josh waiting at the altar.

Her saying _I do_ , but to Josh instead of him.

The image he'd had of getting down on one knee before her, so very familiar, now flew apart in a kaleidoscope of chaotic, bleeding colours. He felt the explosion physically in his chest, and couldn't help but rock backwards slightly on his heels.

Gone. Done. Too late.

 _Over_.

Beckett was looking at him. He gave her a smile, using every ounce of his willpower, but she only continued to stare up into his eyes, as if searching for something.

Then it was like a dam broke in his mind, and the images slammed into him, relentlessly, one after another. His eyes flickered shut for a moment before opening again.

 _Sitting in a church, watching her walk back down the aisle arm in arm with her new husband._

 _Seeing her leave on her honeymoon._

 _Hearing her tell everyone, sometime in the next few years, that she's pregnant._

Gooseflesh rose up all along his arms, and in response he just tried to smile more widely.

Alexis set four crystal champagne flutes down on the kitchen counter, then came around to stand near him. He glanced over in her direction before instinctively reaching out to her.

She grasped his hand immediately in both of hers, and moved to his side.

Beckett saw it, then looked away for a moment, and she was grateful when Martha arrived back with a bottle of champagne and set it down on the counter near the glasses.

"Now, Richard," the older woman said, looking from her son to her granddaughter and back again, fully understanding what she saw, "would you do the honours?"

Castle felt Alexis' hand squeeze his in a death-grip, and he lowered his head to smile down at her.

 _I've got you. I'll always be OK because I've got you_ , he thought, and the trace of moisture he saw in the corners of his daughter's eyes was like a second knife in his chest.

But there was nothing for it. He would do the right thing; they would _all_ do the right thing. This was Beckett's moment, and by god he wasn't going to spoil it, even if it felt like he was dying inside.

"It'd be my pleasure," he said, releasing Alexis' hand and reaching for the bottle.

Beckett watched the whole scene silently. Her hands were clenched into fists by her side, and she steadfastly kept a small smile on her face.

She saw the mask he was putting in place, over his pain. She saw how his own wonderful mind was serving up the images that were tearing into him.

She saw his daughter going to him, and clinging to him, and even telling him with her eyes that he was going to be OK.

She saw Martha's heart going out to her son, and indeed to her granddaughter.

And yet still they all said _congratulations_ , and put on their best face for her. This family that had welcomed her into their home and their lives, being content to wait as she slowly found her own comfort level.

 _I guess that some part of me came here tonight just to… be sure. One last time._

Castle's hand moved towards the bottle, and just as he was about to grasp it, Beckett reached up and put her own hand on his forearm.

Three pairs of eyes followed the movement, and then three people all looked towards her.

There was a brief moment of silence as she looked up at him before she spoke.

"I said no."

* * *

Again, time stood still.

A deep crease appeared on his brow, and at first he couldn't even make sense of the words.

 _You said no… to what?_

His eyes flicked down to her hand on his forearm. It was her left hand, and his brain stuttered for a moment before he realised the significance of the slender fingers, all unadorned. His gaze snapped back up to meet hers.

"But–" he began, then his mouth closed again. The words had scattered and flown away, like frightened birds. He breathed, and tried again.

"But what did… I mean, … why? Are you OK?"

She smiled. "I'm OK. I'm better than OK."

He nodded slowly, even though he didn't understand at all. Martha and Alexis watched in utter silence, afraid to disturb whatever delicate balance existed here.

Beckett took a breath and looked down at her own hand, still resting on his arm, then after a moment, she continued.

"We broke up," she said, and she looked up at him again when she felt him flinch. There was pain on his face, and concern for her, and she felt tears prick the corners of her eyes.

"Kate, I'm so–"

"I'm not," she interrupted gently. "I guess I should say that _I_ broke up with _him_. And I'm not proud of keeping him hanging on all this time, but I'm glad that he's free now. He's going to find somebody amazing someday."

Castle's eyes were a stormy midnight blue, and his jaw was tense. She could see that he was completely thrown. She could also see the questions in his eyes.

"Josh is a good man," she said. "But I wasn't in love with him, and I was never going to be."

She could hear the note of sadness in her own voice, and again she saw compassion in his eyes.

"If I'd met him at some other time in my life, … I don't know. But here and now, it just… wasn't right."

Silence again, for several long moments, as Castle searched her face for the truth of what she was saying. Then he slowly nodded once more.

"Well… OK," he said gently. "But I'm still sorry that you had to go through that, Kate. You did the right thing. And you were right to come here."

She tilted her head slightly, asking a silent question, and he quickly clarified.

"For some cheering-up, I mean. From your trusty sidekick."

His grin was soft and self-deprecating, and she felt a lump rise in her throat. Her fingers tightened on his arm.

"I didn't come here to see my _partner_ ," she said, emphasising the word, and again there was the barest crease visible on his forehead.

"I came to see… all of you." She glanced over at Martha. "Your wonderful mother who reminds me of my own mom, in the best way."

The older woman's eyes softened, and she smiled warmly.

"Your incredible, beautiful daughter who you're so right to be proud of."

Alexis blushed, and looked away for a moment before also giving her a smile, which Beckett returned before again looking at Castle.

"But most of all, …you."

Another beat of silence. More goosebumps on his arm, as she looked meaningfully into his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but then she was speaking again, softly but with confidence.

"I thought about you, earlier. When he asked. I just… thought it was so wrong."

His pulse stuttered and then evened out again. "Wrong?" he asked, and his throat was suddenly dry.

"The wrong guy," she replied, without breaking eye contact. He swallowed.

She watched as the emotions flashed across his eyes. Disbelief, hope, need; then caution, and finally the most familiar of all: self-restraint.

 _No_ , she thought. _That's over now_.

"Because I realised something," she said.

He didn't reply, but he was completely focused on her, and she knew that the two other women standing nearby were also hanging on her every word.

"I realised that he was just… too late. And I'd been lying to myself about that. For a long time."

Her fingers slid along his arm to interlink with his, and Castle looked down at her small hand within his palm, as if not quite believing the evidence of his own eyes.

"I already met the right guy," she said, and she felt a single tear spill out and trace slowly down her cheek, but she made no effort to wipe it away. Castle was looking at her with something like wonder on his face.

"I'm sorry it took me so long," she said. "And you waited, even when… and it just hit me, really hit me today. I can't lose this. I can't lose… what this could be. So I'm here now."

"You're… here," he said, unsure whether it was a statement or a question. His heart was thundering in his chest.

"Rick," she said, "if you're… I mean, if you still–"

"Always," he said, now cradling her hand in both of his. "You know that."

Her smile was like a sunrise.

All of his hopes for the future burst back into existence, and the feeling was too much to contain. The laugh escaped before he even knew it was going to happen.

He glanced over at his family. Martha stood just beside Alexis, her hands clasping the girl's shoulders, and both had tears in their eyes.

 _I am so happy for you_ , they both silently said.

He felt Beckett's other hand come to rest on his chest, and he once again looked into her eyes.

"So," he said, noting with delight the flush of pink that rose up in her cheeks.

"So," she replied.

He again squeezed her fingers between his, then lifted her hand and pressed his lips to it.

He looked at her for a long moment, then nodded towards the champagne bottle sitting on the counter.

"Know anybody with something to celebrate?" he asked, and she smiled.


End file.
